


shoving your fingers down your throat won't make your parents love you

by gelatinousmeatcake



Category: DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel), DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Body Dysphoria, Body Image, Bulimia, Depression, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Gen, Graphic, Purging, Self-Esteem Issues, binge eating, i'll add more later, this is really triggering watch out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 14:29:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15196781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gelatinousmeatcake/pseuds/gelatinousmeatcake
Summary: projecting my own issues onto anime boys as per usual. if you're triggered by this stuff i would suggest not reading





	shoving your fingers down your throat won't make your parents love you

Noiz’s mind raced, unable to form a coherent thought as he scrambled into the bathroom.

Why did you do that? Greedy. Disgusting. Shameful. 

He threw open the door and locked it. Turned the shower on and took off his shirt. Avoided his reflection. He took another big gulp from the glass of room temperature water he brought with him and bent over the toilet. He’d eaten so much this time that the first few retches didn’t even require any fingers. He was so used to this he could merely flex his stomach and throat to get started.

He took another sip of water and leaned over, jamming his fingers in his mouth. Yes, yes, just get it over with. Pushing far enough and thrusting them in again until he could feel everything rising in the back of his throat. The soggy clumps of bread, cheese and pizza sauce, popcorn and ice cream mixed together to make an array of textures and colors. It slid out fairly easily with the assistance of the soda’s carbonation, and he felt a wave of relief wash over him. He heaved again, and again, flushing in between, until he could taste stomach acid and all that came up was saliva. 

Good enough, He thought, and flushed a final time. 

Noiz rinsed off his face and hands in the sink, swished some mouth wash. He stared at his bare abdomen in the mirror and felt ashamed. 

I try so, so hard, and I’m still so fucking fat. 

He sucked in his stomach and ran his hands over his ribs, down to his hips. The scale said he’d lost weight but somehow he looked heavier than he ever had. The way his stomach still poked out, grotesquely bloated, made him want to cry. He pressed his hands against it, trying to push it in manually until his nails dug into his skin and left a red mark. He sighed and let out his breath, pulling his shirt back on. He couldn’t stand looking at all the gross fat coating his body.

He made his way back downstairs after thoroughly checking to make sure he’d cleaned everything up off the toilet seat.

“You okay? You were in there for while.” Aoba asked. Noiz shrugged and took a seat next to him on the sofa. 

“He was probably just wanking.” Koujaku remarked smugly without even looking at him.

“Suck my dick.” Noiz said back and averted his attention to the movie playing. “What did I miss?


End file.
